Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Pooping to opera.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
