please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
