Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
there is glitter all over my balls
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