Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
