So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
