I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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