u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
