Plan B is the new Plan A
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
