he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
