I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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