You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
