I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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