Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
