I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
