all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
