i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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