all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He did a backflip because drugs
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
