dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
