his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
