he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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