the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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