belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You smell like stripper and shame
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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