Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
