I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
