i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
