my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
