You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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