trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize