I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
