her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
