That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize