i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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