I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
