Dude my mom stole all your condoms
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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