he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
