It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
