Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
