Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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