My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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