Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
