I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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