i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
try to milk me bitch
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
