Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
