I think I am morally bankrupt
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
