she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
