i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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