Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
