When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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