Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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