We named our party play list daddy issues
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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