i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
