Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I need moral support for this bender
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
