People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
