i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
