When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
