I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
