So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
