I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
